March 23 @ The Guffey Art Center, Charlottesville, VA

So, as stated before, I did not realize that March 23 was Easter when I booked this gig. It was a few days later when I remember that it is also my mother's birthday! Whoops! Oh, well. It is the place that is closest to Roanoke, where my parents live. So, my family are all coming to see the show. Not only that but Wayne (who gave me Wendy's name in the first place) my ex from long long ago in Roanoke is playing the gig with his girlfriend, Khate. Lots of Roanokers (the correct term) in the audience. Also, Kevin Parks, an eamusic grad whom I met at ICMC is also on the bill. It is nice knowing most of the people involved beforehand.

My family arrives a few minutes before me and help me carry in gear. I give my mom a present and say "happy birthday" a ton before just getting ready and setting up. Set-up does go pretty well, except for one moment where I forget to set the default output to my audio interface and I can't figure out what's up. Well, I find out very soon, but the moment it happens my heart stops and I'm positive that I am fucked and a Nightlight-like fiasco is about to take place. Uh, but no.

First up are Kevin Parks and Jonathan Zorn. They are guitarish with electronics... seems to be free improv and this is confirmed later. Apparently, it was the first time that they played together. It works well, I didn't know that. My sister comes in late, not realizing that they had started. She starts to say something loudly but I shush her emphatically. I have turned into a shusher.

I wonder what my family thinks of it, and what framework they have to attach what people are doing. I remember being a freshman college student living in New Orleans, walking into the Funky Butt and stumbling on free improvisation. I was the one that got shushed. I had thought that they were setting up and equipment and tuning, and not playing. Funny to think of that, now.

Then, me. I drop everything with beats out of my set except for the accordion improv piece. Everything goes smoothly. Except for performing in general and the areas where I have to improvise, I am not winging it at all. Everything works. Error of my Ways is very frustrating, but then again, only because I wrote that kind of thing into my piece. I also am switching songs very fast with very little set-up time. I continue to use the chair as a prop etc., as I am moving around. I stand on top of it, etc.

balancing act is spectacular in that every part of it works the way its supposed to AND I can actually find the dot sometimes and the noise leaves the mix and things sync. Partly its because I'm better at it... partly its because I made it easier in code as part of my general set clean-up in DC. It is less of a steady progression of now I'm successful then less so then I never find the dot. Its more like, hey! I found the dot for a while! Oh, I lost it. Damn... where is it? I'm actually trying to find it...

It also slightly less angsty than usual because I have to switch all the words. Also, I'm using a keyboard amp instead of PA, which is less optimal in some cases, but in the case of the feedback involved in balancing act it is great. There's no crazy shit with feedback happening, ever. I get comments on how it was really neat how my voice affected the music, etc.... and I think, yes, this is the first time you can hear it in the way it was intended!

Study in Losing Control continues to be unpredictable and one of the best pieces in my set.... or something. Its the piece that feels the most interactive, like I'm pushing against something and its responding... not like an instrument, though... like another person. I do baby-sit the computer as I'm performing, changing levels, etc... even starting new synths in SC3 once things start... it does emphasize my use of the computer, which I wanted to make less salient not more, but it does allow me to fix and adjust things as I'm going which I've decided is more important.

One of the improvements that happened in Chapel Hill and continued in Charlottesville was that I just stopped feeling sheepish about actually performing and having a cabaret-type thing when it was so different from what I was seeing other people do. Not that no one else does similar things but no one that I was playing with had these elements. Rivka asked me what I called what I did, and I said post-modern cabaret, which is mostly true. But I've seen what Meow Meow does and I don't do that. I still need to get a lot better at talking and having a dialogue. Switching between songs quickly is really a stop-gap for that. I think I've at least improved. I feel my show would be more compelling if I could find a persona (other than my natural nerdy computer programmer / composer one because that doesn't mesh with the rest of my performance) that worked for me and I could stick with it.

In retrospect, it was helpful trying to come up with an entertaining bio that really described my show/act, because without the aspects of cabaret and angst, I don't know if my set would have come together... Well, I mean, it first felt like different parts of my set were very disjunct, and now I don't feel that. I feel that my personality carries through and provides a thread. Or, maybe I've just been performing through the set long enough that I've gotten used to it. Or that.

Anyways! Wayne & Khate's set. He calls himself feralcatscan, by the way. It very dramatic for this type of thing. They have glow-y balls and stuff. You can see the Dr. Who love, right there. I am mildly surprised that they are not using computers at all since Wayne was the first guy to use a computer on stage in Roanoke way back then, in the day. But I do know that he's been building and hacking and circuit-bending his own instruments so maybe it isn't that unexpected. Meanwhile, he tells me a desktop is just too much to carry to gigs lately and he won't use laptops because he can't build them himself. (but he still uses Windows!) By the way, he also built their PA and painted it. It is very pretty. We almost always agree on aesthetics. Also, both he & Khate changed into nicer/more goth clothes to perform, which is nice, because it meant I wasn't the only one who was doing that.

Meanwhile, a few people leave. The turn-out is not great since its Easter weekend... (hmmm) Wendy asks me if I still want to do the 3 accordion improv we planned. I'm like, dude! I don't care if people are here or not! So everyone gets ready, etc. Everyone else has a nicer accordion than me that's electric, plugged into an amp, and just, tons of effects. Also, they have more reeds. They both probably have a musette setting. I am so jealous. I want that.

Its okay that I'm not electric and I don't have lots of effects. There is space for me when we are playing in way that there never seems to be when I'm playing with other ensembles. Not that contrast isn't good, but it is really really nice to hear something timbrally and know how to produce that on my instrument and then play off of it in a completely intuitive manner. Its like improvising voice with Carmen, although obviously not as comfortable as that since Carmen & I have been working together for a while. But still! There is that element to it. I still feel like we are being a bit timid... or I can only speak for myself and I was feeling that a bit. Especially with my acoustic accordion with no musette setting. (I don't think they even used that setting, I just want a musette setting a LOT)

Anyways, we pack up and chat and catch up a little bit. I'm kinda in a hurry to get out because I'm driving to DC.... which, by the way, google gives me directions going through the middle of BFE except for as I'm driving through it I realize that it is not really BFE. There's stuff there. Like, some farms. Some houses. Relatively lots of stuff compared to BFE in Vermont / New Hampshire. BFE in Virginia is much, much more populated. People may be handling snakes for religious purposes.... but there is stuff to do there. I mean, when you think about it, people talking in tongues is pretty entertaining. I've only seen it two or three times in my life and it was a spectacle. AND the music in Pentecostal churches tends to be fantastic.

Then, DC! Stefan! Losing my keys! Panic! Finding them again! Overly long trek back to the wastelands of New Hampshire due to me not being an overly ambitious driver.

me: Oh! This roadstop has....internet. My car doesn't have internet... *distract distract*

Also, no matter how much coffee I drank I was tired enough so that it affected my driving ability, unfortunately. Touring is exhausting.